Every Season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ranked

This year marks the 25th anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Possibly because of this, the Google search algorithms keep feeding me “Every Season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ranked!” articles.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a favorite show of mine growing up, and despite the dramatic fall from grace of the show’s creator, the show remains close to my heart. And since these rankings are always subjective, I had to throw in my own $0.02.

(Warning: this post contains spoilers for a show that first aired in 1997.)

Continue reading “Every Season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ranked”

Babylon 5 Reboot

Rumor has it that a Babylon 5 reboot is in the works on the CW, led by original show creator J. Michael Straczynski. And by rumor, I mean every sci-fi site, and JMS’s own twitter feed. That’s right, straight from the horse’s mouth1:

Much of the fan response I’ve read has been mixed, and I understand.

Babylon 5 is a cult classic that redefined science fiction television in the 90s and beyond. It gave us multi-season story arcs in an era of episodic TV. It pioneered computer-generated graphics in weekly sci-fi television. It gave us memorable characters: great (albeit reluctant) heroes, and tragic (though still terrible) villains. It gave us ominous storylines of contagion, mistrust, political intrigue, and tyranny that seem strangely prophetic even today.

CW is best known as the network of angsty, pretty teen superhero shows. And is also a descendant of the same WB network that for years has held the TV rights to Babylon 5.

I understand the mixed response. It’s fear. Fear that a show that we’ve loved and watched and rewatched until our poorly-upscaled DVDs have worn out… will be turned into Pretty Kids with Problems — In Space!

But to quote the show itself:

The enemy is fear. The enemy is ignorance. The enemy is the one who tells you that you must hate that which is different. Because, in the end, that hate will turn on you. And that same hate will destroy you.

“And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place”, Babylon 5

As a fan, I’ve been guilty of this sort of toxic fandom myself. After all, I’ve ranted about every modern Star Trek series, including Star Trek: Lower Decks, which friends of mine have enjoyed and called the closest thing we’ll likely see to TNG-era Star Trek.

But why should we react negatively to this?

Haven’t we dreamed of all-new Babylon 5, in breathtaking 4K resolution?

Haven’t we wanted to see and hear new stories of our favorite characters?

Haven’t we been hoping for a Babylon 5 theatrical movie, ever since the credits rolled on “Sleeping in Light”, way back when we were using our 56kbps dial-up modems to read Sisko vs. Sheridan lists on rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated?


Sure, some people will complain about it being a reboot. But what other option is there?

In the years since Babylon 5 ended, we’ve sadly lost many of the actors who played our favorite characters.

Michael O’Hare (Jeffrey Sinclair)

Jerry Doyle (Michael Garibaldi)

Richard Biggs (Dr. Stephen Franklin)

Tim Choate (Zathras)

Jeff Conaway (Zack Allan)

Stephen Furst (Vir Cotto)

Andreas Katsulas (G’Kar)

Mira Furlan (Delenn)

All of the actors who played these characters have passed Beyond the Rim. What should we do? Recast just them? Let their characters pass on as well?

Even for the actors who are still with us, twenty-plus years have passed. Many have moved on. Should we2 de-age them on a weekly basis? Or just progress in realtime, and let them be 20+ years older? What about Sheridan, who is canonically dead3 twenty years after the events of Season 4?

Or advance the timeline forward, past their lifespans, in a sort of Babylon 5: The Next Generation?

JMS has said there will never be a Babylon 6.4


Some people are afraid that the CW will meddle in the Babylon 5 reboot, turning it into another overly glam young adult superhero shows.

But this is JMS we’re talking about. He worked his way up to producer, as he says, in defense5, so that he could better fend off executive meddling.

During the original run of Babylon 5, he promised “no cute kids or robots.” Are we afraid he’ll turn this into “pretty plastic characters everywhere”?

He has said before that Babylon 5 was the merger of two desires: the desire to write a mythic story of great heroes and battles and adventures. Perhaps, in the words of Londo Mollari,

A story about great deeds, about armies of light and soldiers of darkness. About the place where they lived, and fought, and loved, and died. About great empires. Terrible mistakes.

Emperor Londo Mollari, Babylon 5 “In The Beginning”

And another desire, to write… in the words of Londo Mollari, “A true story”, perhaps, about the daily life of ordinary people on a space station.6 People like the dockworkers, who struggled with budgetary and safety issues on Babylon 5. People like Zack Allan, faced with a choice between trusting his government and trusting his colleagues. People who ate at restaurants, and visited the batting cages for a little practice, and stopped by the bar after work for a refreshing Zima, and even went to the bathroom.7 People, perhaps, with names like Bo and Mack?

Are we afraid that in 20 years, JMS has become detached from reality, to the point that he wants to forget half of his story and replace it with flashy colorful costumes? Great Maker! Why would we think that?

I mean, in Valen’s name, this is the JMS who spaced a teddy bear he received as a gift because he despises cute things. Who spaces a teddy bear?! And you think this human would enter into a deal with CW if he didn’t think he had creative control?


So, long story short (is a phrase I’m obviously unfamiliar with), I understand the response from the fans. I understand the fear. The fear that the reboot will be… different.

But imagine…

No Star Trek: The Next Generation. (What, from the creator of the original? Why would Gene Roddenberry revisit his most successful project, so many years later? There’s no room for that campy 60s space western stuff in the sophisticated 80s!)

No Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (A TV show based on that goofy comedy movie? Where the vampire slayer girl detects vampires with… cramps? That writer8 has lost his mind!)

No Battlestar: Galactica reboot. (Reboot a 70s Star Wars ripoff? With Edward James Olmos as the lead? That’ll be pure felgercarb! Why can’t Ron Moore come up with something new and fresh?!)

A Babylon 5 reboot will never be the same as the original. But it’s an opportunity.

It’s an opportunity for JMS to revisit his sci-fi child universe, with twenty years more experience in writing, with twenty years of progress in CGI technology, with a clean slate and new actors, and hopefully with a bigger budget.

It’s an opportunity for new fans, who were too young to see Babylon 5 during its original run, to be introduced to the universe, and possibly to rewatch the original.

And it’s an opportunity for longtime fans of the show to see the Babylon 5 universe anew.

So I’ll watch for news about this reboot with cautious optimism bordering on childlike excitement.

Because, c’mon! It’s Babylon 5!

I hope we’ll see Starfuries.

Faith manages.9


1. Not that I’m calling JMS a horse.

2. I keep saying “we”, as though I and the other fans have any say in the matter. But it’s JMS’s universe — he just lets us live in it for an hour a week if we’re lucky.

3. Babylon 5 came out in the 90s. Season 4 premiered in 1996. I’m not giving a spoiler warning.

4. You probably expected a citation here. But this is a rant, not a scholarly article.

5. No, still not citing. JMS might have said this in an interview. He could have posted it online. Maybe he never said it at all, and I’m making everything up. Who knows?!

6. If you’re still expecting a citation, prepare for disappointment. For all you know, I’m making it all up. Maybe there is no JMS. Maybe there is no TV show called Babylon 5. Maybe nothing is real.

7. But not the methane breathers’ toilets. Never go in there.

8. Whose name I have strangely not mentioned.

9. But Willow is in Tech Support

Dayspring of the Gods

Torii Shrine by peaksignal. Read more about the shrine here.

From up close, the towering shrine rose to meet the vault of heaven. An aged monk with an ornate weapon stood guard.

“Halt! Who approaches?” The monk lowered his shakujō to block the path.

A wanderer in a threadbare cloak pointed to his eyepatch. “I am the one-eyed man, seeking the land of the blind.”

“Your beard is long, wanderer, and your walking stick well-worn. But your songs are sung even on this distant world… Odin.”

“You know the Allfather.” A statement, not a question. “My song magic is weakened. But my children on Earth desperately need wisdom. Let me travel through your gate.”

“My duty is to guard the world-gate from scoundrels and tricksters.” The monk lifted his shakujō. Steel glinted in red sunlight.

Then the red skies between the massive columns faded into clear blue skies of Earth as the shrine gate opened. “Your mission is worthy, Odin Allfather. But Earth people have grown clever in the centuries you’ve been away. Be subtle.”

The wanderer pulled the cloak of his disguise tight around him and stepped forward. “Worry not, fellow-beard,” he said with a glint in his eye. “I will be… low-key.”


The prompt for Fire&Ice 19/19 was to write a story of under 200 words based on the image above. This story also incorporated a mythical character and a non-Earth world.

Last Transmission From The Celebrity Chef Dispatched To A Small Blue Planet To Serve Man To Our Invasion Fleet

Joy. Pompidou Centre, Paris. CC3.0 photo by Rupert Menneer.

So cosmopolitan, this planet the natives call “La Terre”. Variety beyond comprehension! Baguettes, soupe à l’oignon, coq au vin, steak frites, crème brûlée: all this in one building of one city! It’s called “restaurant” — one visit will restore your faith in the gastronomic gods of the galaxy.

A being could spend a lifetime here; from what I’ve heard, most of the natives do. Come experience the “joie de vivre” that’s kept me coming back for 81 Terran years!

Bon appétit!


The Fire&Ice Sol 18/19 prompt was to write a story of exactly 81 words about the image above. The story had to include an interstellar visitor or a chef. (And yes, I clearly abused the “word count excludes the title” rule for the contest.)

0°C

Summer Joy. Black Sea: Odessa, Ukraine. CC2.0 photo by Dmitry Kichenko.

Snowflakes sting my face as I carry the last cardboard box out to the car. Curious, I open it to find a photo album, “Precious Memories” on the cover.

On the first page I see you, silhouetted in sunlight, on the day we met. You, a naiad dancing in the waters, and I tried to be your king. Oh, the things we did on that beach! Vodka. Peach schnapps. Orange and cranberry juice.

I don’t turn the page. This is the precious memory I want to carry with me. An image of a summer when love was hotter than the sun. When I knew with my heart and soul that you were the woman I would spend my life with.

The snow picks up. I give a final sad wave before driving away.

I’m sorry, my dear. I thought you were someone else.


The Fire&Ice Sol 17/19 prompt was to write a story of 140 – 150 words based on the image above, and including a mistaken identity.

Hands of Fate

Kids Sharing Love. photo by Aamir Mohd Khan.

I loathed the Academy students who called us the Weird Sisters. Yes, my sister’s name was Wyrd, pronounced “weird”, and she could be a space cadet, but no one knew what she’d been through.

And me? Moira was a normal name for the normal twin. I aced mathematics. The art teacher liked my penmanship. No one ever tagged me on the playground: I could outrun anyone.

I particularly hated the Headmaster. He and the faculty talked about us, but never acted. Because it would be easy to act on a black eye, or bruises. Easy if our father were the village drunk.

But our father was an Academy alumnus and donor, and words only scar on the inside.

When we met beautiful Surya, my sister was drawn to him like a magnet. Tall, dark, and handsome: Surya was the trifecta, and his reputation preceded him.

“You handle bullies?” my sister asked at lunch.

Surya nodded. “For a price.”

We each gave him a banana half. “It’s all we have,” I said. “It’s our father.”

When Surya returned our banana, Wyrd teared up, until he embraced her.

“This bully I’ll handle for free.”


Written for Fire&Ice Sol 16/19. This week’s prompt was to write a story of less than 200 words based on the image, including a progenitor or parent.

Builders

Dietmar Rabich / Wikimedia Commons / “Litchfield National Park (AU), Magnetic Termite Mounds — 2019 — 3728” / CC BY-SA 4.0

Once, long ago, humans predicted that only cockroaches would survive the coming apocalypse. There were two problems with this prediction. First, when the world burned in the global cataclysm, it was not as humans expected. Second, the great beneficiaries of humankind’s downfall were not cockroaches, but termites.

One after another, ruined human cities were reclaimed by thick forests. Into the forests moved the termite colonies. The colonies became mounds; the mounds, great cities. Generations of insects developed beliefs and culture, and recalled myths of great prehistoric giants who once ruled — and might again. A new termite civilization thrived atop the forgotten remains of the human world. But though human knowledge was obliterated, humans yet survived.

One day, into the midst of the termite city wandered a man. The man wondered at the mounds, so carefully architected, as the mound-builders scurried for safety. A spark of insight came to his mind. Termitekind could only watch in awe as the man worked stone, wood, and fire into primitive tools. Then he went into the forest — just as ancient termite philosophers predicted — and he built a wooden house.


Written for Fire&Ice Sol 15/19. The prompt was to write a story of 180 to 190 words based on the image, including something or someone foreseen.

The First Question

“Sampling Pit.” Atacama Desert, Chile. Photo by NASA Ames. Read description here.

One in a million.

That’s what I thought when I met Anna in Freshman Statistics. Half the class asked me homework questions, but never her. Mathematics. Biology. Geology. Everything came as naturally to Anna as a smile.

Though I earned high marks, after graduation one question lingered. Unanswered. Unasked.

They say your odds of making astronaut are one in ten thousand, but Anna had a future in mind. A vision of a new world.

So did I.

Now here we are on Mars. What are the odds?

What are my odds?

One in seven.

If I can just ask her that one question.


Written for Fire&Ice Sol 14/19. The prompt was to write a story based on the image above, of exactly 103 words, incorporating a statistician.

Bone Riders

“Hope.” Blue Whale. Natural History Museum, London. Photo by just-pics.

The biologist would struggle to classify our taxon, but we are familiar to the mythologist.

We are creatures of the night. We creep shadowy through graveyards where most fear to tread. Though we are not evil, we are reviled.

But we do not bring death. We await it

We try to avoid humans. Their revulsion is understandable, but we are what we are. We migrate from one bleached skeleton to the next, like hermit crabs from shell to shell. Our ethereal essence permeates the old bones, reanimates, gives them a second life.

Hic locus est ubi mors gaudet succurrere vitae.

~ ~ ~

These ocean waters are peaceful. My bone donor no doubt swam these depths in life.

(And whither the blue whale who once called these bones his own? Where goes the spirit once the flesh is gone?)

Now I, the ghost in the skeletal machine, swim the ocean solitary and wonder which is lonelier — death, or life in death?


Written for Fire&Ice Sol 13/19. The prompt was to write a story based on the image above, of 150 to 160 words, including a phrase in another language.

(Hic locus est ubi mors gaudet succurrere vitaetranslates as “this is the place where death delights to help the living.”)