Please sit down, dear kit.
“If it fits, I sits.”
Of course. Young one, our situation is desperate. Our people have lived in these lands since time long forgotten. But the armies of the Romans came and forced us into subjugation. Now they force us to fight for their own amusement.
“I are serious cat.”
Indeed, it is a serious matter, but there is yet hope. For if you will fight in the gladiatorial games, and win, the Romans shall grant freedom to all our people. You will have won our hearts, our homeland, and our eternal gratitude.
“I can has cheezburger?”
Yes, little one. If you are victorious, we will gratefully bring unto you anything your tiny heart desires. It is a great burden we place upon you: you are yet wet behind the ears, and need fight without scutum or gladius.
“I had a gladiolus, but I eated it.”
Your opponent approaches! Do not despair. Though Panthera leo is forty times your size, though his roar is thunderous, though his stately mane darkens the sun, yea, though the very ground trembles beneath his mighty paws, you too are a lion in spirit. Are you ready?
“Is it can be hugs tiem now plees?”