Field Journal – Earth


PERSONAL FIELD JOURNAL, JUNIOR FIELD RESEARCHER #1.987
GALACTIC SURVEY FLEET

PLANET AND SPECIES NAME (NATIVE): EARTH, HUMAN
SPECIES CLASSIFICATION: PRE-CONTACT

earth1

To date, we have had only limited success in studying the humans from orbit. Our chief researcher has, at great difficulty, developed a translation program for their radio broadcasts. I have now been assigned to study the humans’ radio-frequency transmissions.

(Personal note: My first assignment! I’m so nervous my upper tentacles won’t stop shaking!)

So far, I have translated two of their transmissions.


Transmission #1 is titled “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. It appears to be a simple counting progression — perhaps used to teach their young hatchlings how to count?

Much of the content cannot be translated: words such as “partridge” and “lordsaleaping” remain unknown. However, the deliberate progression from one to twelve suggests a base-twelve counting system.

Therefore, it seems probable that humans are dodecapedal, possessed of twelve tentacles, much like the Belrazi species from the Greeelar system. This will be helpful in understanding their mathematics.


Transmission #2 is titled “Last Christmas”. This broadcast is much more informative: I highlight two excerpts:

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away

Once bitten and twice shy. I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye.

In context, this transmission apparently explains human mating rituals. (Quite a coup! Many species are not as forthright about the subject.) It appears that human mating involves ritual organ removal, accompanied by biting. In this regard, humans are much like our own species.


Potentially most interesting of all is the subject of “Christmas”, common to both transmissions. The chief researcher suggests that “Christmas” may be a human cultural event of significance. I will continue to study the matter.

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